Your son or daughter just got engaged! Congrats to the happy couple! As for you, you're about take on one of the most onerous of tasks-planning a wedding.
Remember that, while the wedding is a one-time event, it's an event your family will remember for the rest of their lives. That said, you need to think about which wishes of the couple you can grant and which you can't. Here are a few things to consider.
-Feasibility. You may have seen something in a movie that looks easy and fun, but is it something you can really *do*? I used to say I wanted to get married on the White House lawn. Yes, I know that's a stretch, but I wanted to be a journalist and figured that I'd be in good enough with the president that she'd let me "break the rules" for a day. Needless to say, that never happened.
Odd venue aside, there are still some questions here.
For an outdoor wedding, does anyone involved have allergies? Will you be able to move inside quickly if it rains? If a date has been set, will the temperature be comfortable? If it's a beach wedding, how will you deal with the strong winds and sand that the shore offers? Is there enough room in the cabana? My friend got married on the beach, but didn't account for how dirty the dresses or shoes would get. She checked the tide tables, but those aren't 100%.
-Cost. When girls mentally plan their "dream wedding", cost is rarely in the picture. Can you afford the dress, venue, flowers, "special effects" etc being requested?
"Tradition" had the bride's family footing the bill, but many people don't follow that. Both families should get together to draw up a budget. The couple needs to pick the three things that are most important to them and allocate most of the money there. For me, these things were the dress, having a religious ceremony and a reception with dancing. Use whatever "connections" you have to fill these needs. Even if your friends do things "at cost", though, they still might cost a pretty penny. Consider what you can realistically afford.
This last one may sound weird, but it's very important.
-How is this going to affect your relationships? This process is * very* stressful, even for the most "grounded" of people. Everyone around you seems to have an opinion on how things should be, and the opinions are nearly always contradictory. It is very easy for the day to "get away" from you and become more about what everyone else wants rather than what the couple wants. Not to be harsh, but remember that this is the couple's day, not yours. It is very tempting (and very common) to try to "fix" the mistakes made in your wedding with this one; fight that urge! If you control the purse strings, tell them what you can afford and plan within that. Aside from that, use your experience as a guide but let them make the final decision.
I hope I've given you some food for
thought. Good luck, and congrats again!
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